D is for D@*#*, that hurts!

Yesterday, I was out running errands and happened to catch a glance at my reflection in the rearview mirror.

Waaaaay past time for an eyebrow wax.

So, on the way home, I pulled into my friendly neighborhood nail salon.

And that's where the pain began. Now, let's be clear here. The pain of which I speak is not of the physical variety. Because if there's one thing you should know about me, it's this: My vanity is not of the sort that would allow a small thing like massive quantities of pain to get in the way of the pursuit of beauty.

Anyway, I approach the counter and tell the lady what I'd like: an eyebrow wax, please.
At which point, she turns and yells loudly into the salon: EYEBROW WAX!!!!
(This is why I don't tell the chick at the counter that I also want a lip wax. I save that part for the chair. I only made that mistake once. LOL.)

So, I get into the chair and the girl says: You liie eyebrow wax?

Yes, I "like" eyebrow wax, please. And this too, I whisper, while pointing discreetly at my upper lip. (Whispering it somehow makes it seem less real.)

Then, she punched me in the gut says to me: You liie I do chin too?

And there was silence. Like movie silence. The kind with the crickets. During which I stared at her in complete horror and consternation.

And then I managed to squeak: Do I NEED a chin wax?

And she said: YES.

And then I died. Right there on the spot.